Well, finally they admit they were wrong. We have known that for generations. Myself having bad nightmares for over 50 years because of how I was treated at residential school as a child, I guess is forgiven now that the PM has said sorry. My bad dreams still remain. I still forget my original language. I still forget my grandmother who dies in jail while I was in residential school. I have forgotten how to trap, hunt and fish.
I remember the needles pushed through my tongue as a 5 year old child stolen from his family and trying to speak in the only language I knew, Cree. For this I was punished and tortured by the Anglican Church, Bastards! I will never forget the moaning from the preacher as he raped me and then the beating he gave me for being evil.
But I guess everything is okay now that the PM has said "Sorry"
What do you think?
Apology
Snow Snake-
I am sorry for what you went through. It's terrible. I think you need to find a way to forgive. That is not saying that they were right or you were wrong at all. It is a healing that YOU need. The anger is eating you 50 years later. You are letting it ruin your life.
Forgiveness does not mean you forget. It is not a justification. It is a way to stop the nightmares and to help you feel good about yourself again. You need this healing. You were a child, there was nothing you could do. Your parents, also, could do nothing. You need to stop blaming and get back your life. You are an elder now yourself. What kind of wisdom and tradition are you handing down to the young ones?
You can learn to hunt and fish and trap again. Find someone who knows who will teach you. No one can bring your grandmother back from Spirit but think, there are parts of her you remember. There were then and are still Grandmothers who could give you most of what she would have. You only need to find them.
What you suffered will take time to work through. You have not done that work yet. It is your choice but I would not want to go to Spirit with all that anger and hurt. Why bring it with you? It is not too late to get rid of it. There will be someone of your people who can help you work through it. Maybe a medicine person, maybe someone who went through it too and has found the way to forgive. Maybe someone who has helped others like you. Do not despair. You can do it alone if you must and you keep at it. It takes some time, but I know, I have done it myself a few times now. It is not easy. You will emerge stronger and a better person. Your spirit will be eased. You will sleep better. You will be liked more.
Think, Snow Snake, who is being hurt by this anger? Does it hurt the ones who hurt you? Or is it only hurting you? Do you enjoy this suffering? Then why keep it? Those others have not suffered over you all their lives. They probably could not even remember who you are. It is up to you to stop your suffering. No one else will do it. You have held it too close for too long. End it.
Yes, you can.
I don't know if I can help you enough through email, or telephone but I would try if you asked. I can feel what you are living with and it is not good. I will send my healing through the wind to you. You will feel it. Let it help you.
As for Mr. Harper, he can only do what he did. He had nothing to do with the schools. He has no comprehension of what went on, or how, or why. Of course, apologizing for the government does not mean much. It's too late to take it back. But he is not to blame, someone many years ago was a total a--h--e, or hated the Indians or both, probably. Maybe it was some 'do gooder' who thought they were bringing civilization to the poor, uneducated natives.
Remember: the past is past; the future has not yet come. There is only NOW. This minute, this second. It is a gift from the Creator. What will you do with it?
Red Hand
Cherokee
'There was a time when man took no more than he needed--that time is gone. There was a time when he gave something back--that time is gone. There was a time when he worshiped the Creator and honored creation---that time too is gone. And now the waters are polluted. Our natural resources are all but gone. And creation is dying. It is time to find our way back to the earth.'